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Career break returners

"Women are like tea bags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water" Eleanor Roosevelt

It doesn't matter whether you're returning back to the world of paid or unpaid work after a few months of leave, or a career break of several years. Whatever the reason - maternity leave children growing up and away, serious illness, divorce and so on, going back to work after that career break can feel scary!

Whether you were a corporate high flier or you're a mature job seeker with little in the way of recent experience, everyone has their own issues which can include a general lack of confidence, and uncertainty about the currency of their skills, knowledge or contacts. Just remember that everyone has something to offer - modesty can be your greatest virtue or your Achilles heel in these situations if you're not careful.

Dealing with Working Mother Guilt

It is so easy for women to respond to the guilt button we all seem to have imprinted on our foreheads, and rants about working mothers vs stay at home mothers are the daily fodder of the tabloids. A lot of people in our past fought very hard to make life better for women in this country (and many are still are!). The right to choose - to stay at home or not, to work outside the home or not, to be paid fairly for what we do and so on are important ones.

If you want to stay at home  - fine, don't let anyone else make you feel guilty. If you have to go back to work because you need the money to feed and house your family - fine, don't let anyone else make you feel guilty. If you want to go back to work because you love your job - fine. You see where we're headed with this one!

The thing is, it just doesn't need to be an either or choice any more. Doyle-Morris Coaching specialises in coaching professional women, particularly in traditionally male dominated professions, you can download a selection of their career articles at the bottom of the page.   

Sisters doing it for themselves

More and more women are setting up their own very successful businesses, referred to in the media as 'Kitchen Table Tycoons' or 'Mumpreneurs', because they find it either difficult or just plain unappealing to break back into the mainstream job market (finding good, affordable childcare is much easier than it used to be, however, now the big issue is getting access to refresher training!).

Recent Government figures show half of all small and medium-sized firms are run with women at the helm. Finding a way to combine running a business and your household is more and more possible because of the way technology has opened up new vistas of opportunity.

For the first time, women make up about one in four on the annual list of Top 100 Entrepreneurs. Elena Ambrosiadou, who set up one of the first hedge funds in London in 1991 when she was just 33, is now worth 140 million. Sarah Tremellen, 39 and worth £13m, founded the lingerie company Bravissimo when she was pregnant and couldn't find a bra to fit. Luisa Scacchetti, age 55 and worth £57m, co-founded Mamas and Pappas in 1979 with just £5000 because she couldn't find stylish nursery gear when she was pregnant.

We're constantly being told, however, that employers are making much bigger efforts to lure women back into their workforces (given that there will be fewer and fewer people under 30 in the job market in the future) so, perhaps you could be putting this to the test.



Be prepared!

In any event, before anyone writes off their chances of success or plunges into an interview or business idea completely unprepared such that they become their own self fulfilling prophecy of failure, take some time out to think about the following question.

What do you really, really want?

It's a deceptively simple question but it generally takes quite a bit of thought or soul searching to answer. Until you have some firm convictions or desire about what you want, it is hard to build a winning plan to achieve your goals - however modest or ambitious they are. So, time thinking about that is not a luxury, it's an essential.

Once you have the desire to achieve your real goals you'll be unstoppable.

How did your old job make you feel?

Were you happy? Fulfilled? Completely strung out or just bored senseless? What do you miss? The company? The perks? The financial independence? The sense of achievement? The intellectual challenge? The drama and gossip?

Mapping out the things which made you enjoy or hate your old job will help you to think about your options before you start to concern yourself about how to achieve them. Never worry about the 'how' before you've figured out the 'why' or you could come up with a brilliant solution which still doesn't actually tick all your boxes, or you'll talk yourself out of all kinds of quite sensible options before you've even started. Once you've done that you can think about the 'how' questions.

Start by pondering some of these practical career considerations

• How much time do you really want spend at work?
• Can you really go back to your old job?
• Does your previous employer, or will your next employer, operate 'family friendly' policies and a supportive culture?
• Can you go part-time first and build up gradually?
• Is commuting either in terms of time or money viable or not?
• How will your childcare arrangements work?
• Do you need to brush up on a few skills first? Check out our training help section for ideas on IT skills training, management and trade training courses. Organisations such as the AAT - Association of Accounting Technicians offer flexible learning packages for skills that always in demand with employers.  
• Does your employer or professional organisation have a refresher training scheme to help you get back up to speed?
• What transferable skills do you have? Planning? Managing budgets? Project management?
• Do you sell yourself or sell yourself short on your CV? 
• How much money will you need to earn to make it worthwhile?
• Can you get some objective advice? CV help, interview advice or improving your personal impact?
• Can you use old contacts or find new ones to help your plan along?
• Can you imagine starting your own business?
• How about working freelance?
• What about working from home?
• Do you want to go back to your old world or do you need help choosing a new direction?

If the answers aren't immediately clear or seem too daunting or impossible, please don't be put off. Keep at it and if you stay focussed you'll be amazed at how coincidences start to occur.

Talk to others about your plan. It helps to clarify it in your own mind and may generate ideas and offers of help. A neighbour might tell you about a great creche or nursery to sort out your childcare worries. An old colleague might give you a lead to a vacancy they think would be the perfect job for you. A former employer may be willing to provide some training to get you back up to speed.

Once you're not scared any more it's easy to focus and stay positive. As Susan Jeffers says in her best selling book - 'Fear the fear and do it anyway!'

Finding Childcare

• If you're happy with your childcare, you'll be happier and more relaxed at work. If you can't rely on a family member or parent to help you for free, it isn't something you can skimp on, so buy the best you can afford.
• There are lots of nurseries now but the best ones always have waiting lists so do your homework first. There is no point in accepting a job only to find out you'll have to wait months for a place to come vacant.
• To find a child minder, you should go to your local authority who can provide you with access to properly vetted and regulated ones.
• You might be able to afford a daily nanny, it could be the only option if you have more than one child as nursery fees get steep. Could you share with another working mother? I shared my nanny with my next door neighbour for years. We both got a great deal logistically and financially and the kids were totally happy. Result! 
• If you have room and you are prepared to manage another adult in the house, you could have a live-in nanny or an au pair of course. If you do have a nanny or an au pair they will be worth their weight in gold if you take care of them. I don't have a lot of time for diva-like behaviour under any circumstances but nannies who make unreasonable demands are a pain in the butt and so are are unreasonable employers or spoilt brat kids. Looking after your children is their job so it needs to be treated just like that in a businesslike manner with clear boundaries set and proper communication about duties, standards, pay, tax, holidays, hours and so on. Using emotional blackmail or adopting an 'Upstairs, Downstairs' attitude on either side will usually end in tears on all sides.   
• Mothers often experience bouts of jealousy about the relationship their children have with their carers. Relax, your children will never love anyone like they love their very own, special mother - YOU. 
• Make sure that you fit in time together without making a rod for your own back, burning yourself out being a slave to activities and taxi driving. Most kids are totally overstimulated these days. Family meals at the table at weekends and stories at bedtime are not the things to skimp on.
• Get some help around the house - get a cleaner once a week if you can afford it, make the rest of the family pitch in, tidy up after themselves and so on. They'll soon learn that clean socks and crockery don't grow on trees and that the vacuum cleaning fairy doesn't exist! 
• In many ways, it is easier to leave younger children in nurseries or with nannies. Once your children become teenagers they need you more not less. You'll know what it is right for your family, so good luck with whatever options you choose.

Essential resources - You don't have to do it all by yourself!

There is a lot more help and advice around for career returners than there ever was, so our advice is - take it and make it yours! If you're ready to register your CV and start job hunting now, just go to our excellent selection of job hunting sites. 

Diana Wolfin & Susan Foreman have written an excellent book called 'Back to Work - a guide for women returners' ISBN number 1-86105-588-9. It's full of top tips and help and worth £9.99 of anyone's money - buy it at the New Life Bookshop. Diana has acres of experience in this field and can also be contacted via her web site changingdirection.com.

Professional women may want to join the Aurora Network listed below which helps to campaign for better company environments for women to work in. They cover the bigger corporates and have some very useful information, surveys, networking events. They measure companies on a 20 point scale around what they say about women, what they do for women and how well they perform which you can research at Where Women Want to Work.

Look at the other sections of the site on starting your own business, working in the not for profit sector and so on, other useful resources for women returners are listed in the directory below.



Useful Resources Directory

whatdoesyourcareergiveyourchildren.pdf - 22kb Download this file

currentbehaviours-weaknessorstrength.pdf - 22kb Download this file

British Association for Women Entrepreneurs (BAWE) British Association for Women Entrepreneurs (BAWE) - sponsored this year by the Royal Bank of Scotland. To become a member costs £175pa.

Doyle-Morris Coaching Doyle Morris Coaching helps companies retain and develop their valuable, well-trained female executives.  We specialise in working with professional womenin the male-dominated fields of...

Dress for Success International charity providing appropriate clothing for low income women returners. Dress for Success London will gratefully accept your  donations from Monday to Friday 10:00am to 4:00pm by...

Early Years online Early Years online - UK search facilities for all nurseries and childcare providers, providing details of nurseries as well as help and advice for parents and childcare providers.

Mother at Work Mother at Work - a comprehensive advice webzine for working mothers. Carries job ads too.

NetMums   Netmums is a unique local network for mums with a wealth of information and advice on being a mum or dad in your home town.

Prowess Prowess is a network of organisations and individuals who support the growth of women's business ownership . Their work encompasses raising awareness, sharing of best practice, advocacy and...

SET Women Resources Are you one of the 50,000 women with high level qualifications in Science, Engineering and technology (SET) currently not working in these fields? If you have studied or worked in SET, women...

Sharing Care Want a nanny but find it expensive? Want your child to interact with a like minded family? Want to advertise your job for free? If your answer is YES to any of these questions then you can try a FREE...

The National Federation of Women's Institutes The National Federation of Women's Institutes - The NFIW is the largest voluntary organisation for women in the UK with 215,000 members in England, Wales and the Islands. The ideals of the...

The Women's National Commission The official, independent, advisory body giving the views of women to the Government. It is the only organisation of this kind in the UK. It aims to ensure that women's views are taken into account...

Where Women Want To Work Part of the Aurora network set up by Dr Glenda Stone to promote the careers of professional women. Shows information on major employers (who sponsor the site) relative to their record on recruiting,...

WiRE WiRE stands for Women in Rural Enterprise and has been offering business support to women in rural business since 1996, when research conducted by senior lecturer Izzy Warren-Smith at Harper...

Women at work Women at Work - a comprehensive database of women running small businesses or working for themselves in a wide range of occupations. Good for finding local networking groups and...

Women Returners The Women Returner's Network is an important UK research and lobbying organisation dedicated to helping women returners achieve their aspirations. The organisation works in partnership across...

Working Mums WorkingMums.co.uk is brought to you by a small team of working parents. Founded by working mum Gillian Nissim, the team at Working Mums know what its like to try and find jobs and business...